Bad matches

The best matches come when you pair two great tastes that taste great together. This is especially important in relationships.

the round peg is a bad matchThe other day I responded to a question posted online from a man who was having difficulty with a recent breakup. While he had had numerous relationships end in his life, this particular one struck him harder than the others; she left him for another man. In this case, an ex-boyfriend for which she still had unresolved feelings. He wondered how he could deal with the ego issues of not being good enough for this woman.

While it’s perfectly normal to suffer the sting of rejection, I think it’s important to reframe the situation to start healing. Here’s how I would do it.

I love ice cream. Chocolate. Coffee. Anything rich. When I’m feeling particularly decadent, I toss all these things in with some hot fudge or caramel sauce and fresh whipped cream. Heck, that just might be tonight’s dinner! But I digress.

That sundae – cool and creamy with a warm, melted topping just goes down so good. It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it. Who wouldn’t want a relationship that brings you such joy?

You know what I also like? Broccoli. Really. I do. Put a little Sriracha sauce on there and pair it up with a grilled piece of pork, maybe a glass of wine, and you’ve got a fine Saturday evening meal.

As I said, great tastes that go great together.  Some tastes, however, don’t go so well.

Hot fudge on broccoli? I’ll pass.

How about Sriracha on ice cream? Gonna skip that one, too.

When it comes down to it, there’s no flaw in any of those foods. They’re bad matches. They don’t pair up well. The same goes for many attempted relationships. There isn’t some inherent flaw in you or in them. You just don’t match up well. Sometimes you think you do. At least from your point of view, you think the other person is perfect for you. Maybe she is. And you convince yourself that you’re perfect for her. But you don’t get to decide that. And if you’re not right for her then she really isn’t right for you.

So, when the relationship ends and you realize it’s time to go your separate ways, instead of beating yourself up for not being good enough, remind yourself that there’s a difference between not being right and not being right for each other.

She was ice cream. You’re Sriracha. Go find your broccoli.


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