If you thought my last article about Facebook Creeping was the end of it, well, think again. I still have more to say. Go figure! Let’s call this Facebook Creeping, Part II.
As I was thinking more about this male Facebook Creeping phenomenon I was reminded of some of my own behaviors from childhood. With Facebook Creeping, the man sits in front of his computer (tablet, smart phone, etc.) and scrolls along through a very visual medium. Did you know, Facebook has continually said that they’re seeing the platform going much more visual and so they’re showing more images and videos and far less text? You betcha!
Sorry, back to scrolling. So, Mr Creep is scrolling along and seeing pictures featuring attractive women. He thinks:
“Oh, she’s pretty hot!”
“There’s another one!”
“I better show her I’m not just liking her picture. Where’s a comment from her? Oh, there’s one!”
It’s like thumbing through a catalog, and that’s when it struck me. I used to do the same thing when I was 9! Here’s the story.
Every year, some time around Thanksgiving, I think, the Sears Christmas catalog would arrive in the mail. It was chock full of everything you could possibly want for Christmas as well as plenty of things you wouldn’t. Well, I had an older brother and 2 male cousins; we were all close in age. We would gather around that catalog and go through it, page by page. On each page we’d pick which item we’d take. We’d switch up the picking order every now and again so that my youngest cousin wouldn’t get stuck with the 4th pick every time. We were nice like that. But we’d pick everything for our fantasy list.
The thing is, we didn’t just go through the boy’s toys pages. We’d go through every page. Granted, when we got to lawn furniture we’d mostly pick based on price, and maybe we did skim rather quickly through the Barbie dolls, but we’d pick from every page. So what, you ask?
So we also went through the adult women’s section. Skirts, dresses, bathing suits, and, oh yes, panties and bras. Here we were picking the women based on our preference for: hair color, smile, boobs. Ok, mostly boobs. Not quantity, just size and shape. Back in the day you could be assured of a Sears model having an even number of boobs. But some times all the boobs look kind of the same, at least to a 9 year old, and so we’d also use other criteria. (One complaint, there weren’t near enough red heads represented in the Sears catalog!)
We were kids – boys – being our visual selves (you’ve heard that males tend toward the visual, right?) and going through a catalog of, well, not girls. Not women. Not people. Images. 2 dimensional and not quite real.
Now, back to the present – how easy is it, therefore, for Mr Creep to disregard the humanity of the women scrolling by on his feed and treat them as an image to like? It sure feels like that’s what’s going on. It’s hunting season and we can bag as many as we like in this fantasy world!
Except it isn’t a fantasy world.
So guys, this advice is for you. Remind yourself over and over again, if necessary: the women in your Facebook feed are people. Humans. Like your mother. Like your sister. Like your daughter. Consider how you feel when guys exhibit creepy behavior toward the loved women in your life.
Facebook isn’t a catalog. You aren’t a QVC Caveman going out with your (Diners) Club shopping for a woman to bring home. Maybe you wish you could go back to those Neanderthal days, but then you’d also have to put up with sabertooth tigers trying to eat you in your sleep. And plagues. And head lice. Do you really want that?
So, don’t be Thog the caveman. There are plenty of non-creepy ways to socialize with women on Facebook. Something like, oh I don’t know, starting a conversation with them?
Give it a try and leave the creeping to spiders.
Steve is the founder of Straight Talk Entertainment and currently produces and writes for the audio drama Aural Traditions, recently voted Charleston City Paper’s Best Local Podcast. He’s also an Information Security professional and avid shark tooth hunter.