Keyboard shortcuts for erotica authors

Given the increased sales and attention being paid to the erotica industry…

Did you know there’s Sasquatch erotica in addition to dinosaur erotica and tentacle erotica? I’m not making this up!

And given how poorly written the sex scenes were in 50 Shades of Grey, it stands to reason that these works of art(!) become formulaic over time. It takes a lot of sticky pages to satisfy the lust for reading that many frustrated housewives seem to experience. With that in mind, I’d like to offer some keyboard shortcuts to enable in the word processing software of your choosing so that you can jump on the bandwagon and begin selling your tawdry tentacle love triangle quick. Each shortcut will insert a particular type of sex scene. Use with caution.

keyboard

For the non-tech-speaking, there is a key at the end to use as reference. These are terms used frequently in the sysadmin and software engineering world.

[table caption=”Shortcuts” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Shortcut,Scene

INS,Plain old sex

INS ESC,One night stand

$ !,Sex with a prostitute

$ ! $,A negotiator having sex with a prostitute

! $,Satisfaction guaranteed with a prostitute

! :,Anal sex

! ESC,Bondage

SHIFT !,Office sex with the shop foreman

CTRL !,Sex with a dominatrix

ALT !,Sex with a Furry

# !,Rough sex

# // !,Even rougher sex

! *,Sex with a celebrity

[/table]


[table caption=”Key to shortcuts” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Shortcut,Common term

INS,Insert

ESC,Escape

$,Dollar

!,Bang

:,Colon

CTRL,Control

#,Pound

/,Whack

*,Star

[/table]

Can you think of others? Tell me in the comments!

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